Mabye I’m oversharing, but this is important

So I know its been forever since my last post.  And truth be told, I did stop stretching for a little while.  And even when I was stretching, I wasn’t really inspired to write about it because there was nothing new to say that hadn’t already been said.  But luckily I was completely re-inspired by a new routine and have been going steady for the last few months. Over that time, I have been wearing my stretcher for only 30 minutes twice a day.  That’s it.  And by now any initial skepticism I had about this short routine is long gone.  I can say for certain that things are progressing quite well.  And even though I’m probably not even half way done with the whole process, I already feel like I have a brand new penis.  In fact, it has totally revolutionized the way I masturbate.  And as a pleasant surprise, it has also totally changed how the different pleasure centers of my penis work.  I get off in a completely new and better way.  There is now enough extra skin for it to slide all the way up and down my entire shaft with zero friction.  Its like I have a built-in jerk off sleeve.  And it has already been incorporated into our sexual repertoire.  And as far as sex goes, I only notice chafing every once in a while instead of nearly every time.  Every day I love my new penis more and more, and just wearing the stretcher for an hour a day is so much easier.  It became so daunting to try and wear it for as many hours as I could every day.  But this new routine is so much more manageable from a mental standpoint.  I can’t explain why it works better this way.  I suppose its a bit counter-intuitive, but the results are clearly speaking for themselves.  Apparently more (stretching) is not necessarily better in this case.

Now comes the part where I tell you again that this is such an incredible thing to do for yourself and your partner.  Guys, unless you are intact, you have no idea how cool this is, I can try to explain it all day long, but you have to just do it and experience it yourself.  Even having a half-functioning foreskin is light years better than before.  Even if I stopped today and never stretched again it would have still been totally worth it.  But now I can’t wait to see what it will be like next month, and the month after that, and the month after that…  Oh, and today I finally moved from a 4″ rod on my stretcher to a 5″ rod.  That means that so far I have added about 3 inches of extra skin to my penis.  That sounds like a lot, but apparently I had that much to grow just to get it to the point where the skin would start bunching over the hump of my coronal ridge.  So at first glance it doesn’t look like much has happened yet, but upon closer inspection you can tell that quite a bit has changed.  It’s pretty fascinating to finally get some idea of how it would have felt to have remained intact.  And the best is still yet to come.  Feeling very grateful right about now.

Advertisements

The Thing About Restoring Is…

So over the past several months I have come to learn that there is no one definitive way to restore.  Everybody does it a little differently, and everybody progresses at a different rate.  There are many many different devices out there.  But there are probably a solid four or five that are the most common.  And then the next question is how you use the device, and for how long each day?

I’ll start with what I have been doing.  I use a device called a DTR.  I think its the best, but I will admit that it is also the only device that I have tried.  The reason I think its the best is because I know there are other devices out there with a similar design, but the parts look rather shoddy, almost home made.  The DTR is stout, robust, well made, and holds up well to long term daily usage.  I try to wear the DTR for at least a few hours every day, at moderate to high tension.  I usually wear it for around 60 to 90 minutes at a time, and then I take it off for at least an hour and put it on again later.

After doing this for approximately 10 months, I have regrown a lot of new skin.  But not as much as perhaps I was hoping to by this point.  So that got me thinking “What are other people doing differently?”  So I hit the forums and tried to find out.  And it turns out that pretty much no one does any of it the same way.  Some people wear it for 8 hours strait.  Some people wear it for 20 minutes a day.  Some people take 6 months to restore, and others take 10 years.  Some people use elaborate devices that involve attaching a strap to your penis and pulling the strap up around your shoulders or down to your knees.  There is even a DTR modification kit that will allow you to inflate your foreskin like a balloon as a way to stretch the skin.  Meanwhile, other people don’t use a device at all.

Recently a guy posted some fantastic photos of his newly restored foreskin.  I asked him how long it took, and what device did he use.  To my amazement, he said it took just under a year, and he didn’t use a device at all.  He just manually stretched his foreskin with his hands for 20 minutes every evening while watching TV.  Needless to say, I was baffled.  How was this possible?  At this point I started to question everything about my routine.  I am still confident that I am using an effective device, but perhaps I need to change up how often and for how long I wear it.

Then just a few days ago, another guy on the forums proposed an experiment.  The goal of his experiment was to try to establish whether or not skin would regrow if you wore the DTR for a short amount of time every day.  So the experiment is to wear the device for just 20 minutes, twice a day, for six weeks, with a day of rest each week.  At the beginning of each week we take a new progress photo.

So I figured what the hell.  It’s not like I’m doing great on my own.  So I am now 3 days into the experiment.  And honestly I don’t mind if it doesn’t produce radical results.  All I am really looking for is a definitive one way or the other.  If it works, then I will know that it works (for me personally anyway), and I will keep doing it.  And if it doesn’t work, then I will know to go back to what I was doing, or try something different altogether.

This also got me thinking, what are some of the variables that go into the growth rate?  Does penis size matter?  What about the thickness of the penis skin? What about the person’s race or skin color?  I’m sure the circumcision itself plays a role too.  Like how much skin was cut off to begin with.  Sometimes the inner-foreskin skin is left on some penises, and sometimes it is not.  Does inner foreskin skin regrow faster than outer foreskin skin?  Who knows.  Sometimes there is a greater amount of scar tissue and sometimes there is not.  I would like to think that diet and overall health comes into play, but the guy that regrew his in a year with his bare hands was not exactly a picture of good health.  Are there nutritional supplements and/or oils that either help or inhibit skin regrowth?  I would hate to think that I am actively consuming something on a regular basis that is actually inhibiting my progress.  But who the hell knows.  Foreskin restoration is like uncharted territory for the scientific community, so we’re all just left to our own devices.  Some people are lucky, and others just have to be persistent.  The only thing we all know for sure, is that it does work, and that a new foreskin is guaranteed.  But how quickly is still anyone’s guess.

No matter what though, I am still so happy that I am doing this.  Its actually a fun experiment.  I mean, not many people can say they regenerated an amputated body part through persistence and hard work.  I am proud of the progress I have made, and I look forward to the day when I can show my penis to someone and they won’t be able to tell that I was ever circumcised.

I’m Back!

Hey everyone, so I know it’s been a while since my last post.  It seems I just woke up one day and decided I needed a break from restoring.  I wasn’t sure why, I just realized that I had no desire or motivation to put my DTR on.  I think there were a number of factors that went into the decision, but at first I didn’t know what they were.  So instead of just feeling guilty about not wanting to wear it all the time, I figured I’d just stop for a while and process the situation and get to the bottom of why this unexpected turn of events.

One thing that was kind of driving me nuts was that the gripper piece on the DTR did not seem to be as grippy as it once was, even after regular washing.  This combined with the fact that I was having a hard time getting properly seated on my penis, which exacerbated the fact that the gripper wasn’t working as well.  So basically it kept coming off.

But then the times that I could manage to keep it on for any length of time, it would eventually hurt after a while.  And so I got to the point where I was playing this constant mental chess game with myself, just trying to see how long I could bear the discomfort before I had to rip the thing off.  And I realized that that was wearing on me mentally quite a bit.

So those two factors led to me realizing I needed a break.  I knew I didn’t want or need a long one, as I am still committed to the process, but just the same, I could not continue the way I was going.  So after a few weeks of not wearing it, I started to look at the restoration forums and the DTR website for possible new information and inspiration.

It was during this research that I also came to the realization that I am not progressing at the same pace as the guy on the DTR website.  He was pretty much done in two years.  But my 8 month progress is nowhere near where his is in the photo.  So I got a little discouraged by that too.  Realizing that a two year project was starting to look like a 3+ year project.  But I quickly realized that that doesn’t mean anything in the long run and that I wasn’t going to let it stop me.  I mean, I was already 8 or 9 months in, and if I had known from day one that it was a 3+ year project and not a two year project, I would have done it just the same.  So what difference does it really make?  Besides, even though I wasn’t as far along as he was, I have still made notable, real progress and am already enjoying the benefits of even the little bit of extra skin that I have managed to produce.

A while ago I had seen a video clip on the forums that this guy had posted showing an alternative way to put the DTR on.  His purpose for doing it this way was so that the DTR could be put on further down the shaft of the penis so that it would avoid the penis being pushed so far into itself.  I’m sure that doesn’t make any sense to someone who isn’t using this device, but that’s ok, it’s not important for right now.  The the first time I saw this post months ago I didn’t really think much of it and just kind of put it in the back of my mind.  But now that I was looking for something different, I thought I would give it a try.  And what I discovered was very helpful.  Ironically it did nothing for me as far as fitting it further down my penis, but what it did do was guarantee a great, perfectly uniform fit every time and helped it to stay on way better, which was a most pleasant and unexpected surprise.  So now I do it this way every time and the frustration of it coming off is pretty much gone. I wish I had been doing it this way from the beginning, but oh well.  At least I can pass this new information on to other restorers.

It still gets sore after an hour or so, but right now that is the only downside and after the long break, it is much more mentally tolerable.  Right now I feel reinvigorated and much more interested in progressing.  Failure is not an option.  I look forward to reporting more good news in the weeks and months to come.

Interview With a Restorer

So a couple of days ago I was asked to answer some questions for another blog and I thought I might as well post them here as well.  I have touched on some of this stuff already, but its still interesting to see where I’m at now.
……..
How old were you when you realize you were not intact? Honestly I don’t remember, probably around puberty or a little before.
What were your initial feelings when you discovered your foreskin was removed if you remember?  My initial feelings were based entirely on the ignorance surrounding circumcision that has been perpetuated throughout my life.  And that is that this is what you are supposed to do, and everyone else has done it too.  So I didn’t really think anything of it at the time.  The U.S. was far less informed about circumcision in the 70’s and 80’s than they are now, and as a result I just accepted my circumcision as a normal state of being.
How did you feel towards your parent/guardian?  At the time I never thought anything of it.  But once I became educated and aware of what I had truly lost, I asked my mom about it.  And she said that she was just doing what everyone else in 1975 did, and at the time she thought it was the right thing to do.  I can’t fault either of my parents.  In the end, they were as much victims of the system as I was.  When I told my mom that I was restoring, she didn’t understand why (though she was/is accepting).  She like most Americans, still don’t know what the function of a foreskin even is.  Which is sad, because now there is so much information that is readily available and neither of my parents have any clue.  Nor do most of the people in their generation.  If I was born today and my parents circumcised me, I would never let them hear the end of it.
Toward the doctors/establishment?  I have little to no respect for doctors and the establishment, and becoming educated about my circumcision was a huge catalyst for that.  Once I learned about the facts regarding foreskins and circumcision, I began to question everything.  I asked myself “what else do the doctors have wrong”, and sadly the answer is most things.  But that’s a different conversation.
Do you suffer from any physical irritation, sensitivity, or pain as a consequence of your circumcision?  Yes, before I began restoring, my penis would regularly become chafed after sex, no matter how much lubrication was used.  Sometimes it would take 2 or 3 days to fully heal.  Also, I have noticed a decrease in sensitivity and that it can take a very long time to orgasm in certain positions.  My partner also experienced dryness and soreness after sex.  Now that I have been restoring for 8 months, I experience much less chafing, if any at all.  And I can see and feel a lot more skin when I masturbate.  However there is not yet enough extra skin to create the gliding action during sex, so my partner has yet to reap the benefits.
Do you feel violated? If so, can you explain?  Yes. I strongly feel like circumcision is a decision that should be left up to the individual alone.  Permanently altering/removing a healthy, functional, and necessary body part without permission is truly a violation in every sense of the word.
Do you feel that your sex life would have been different if you had remained intact? If so, can you explain?  Very much so.  I know for a fact that human sexual function is severely altered by the lack of a foreskin.  And I think that aside from the physical mechanics of sex and the foreskins role, my relationships as a whole would have been better as a result of normally functioning sex.
Can you explain the emotions behind restoration?  Its a bit of a roller coaster.  As I began learning about all the functions of a foreskin, I got very frustrated at the system.  Even though for years prior, I didn’t really think much of it, because for most of my adult life, up until about 2 years ago, I just thought that my sex was as normal as everyone elses and thats just how it was.  Education in this matter has made me very jaded.  Eventually I just came to the conclusion that dwelling on what happened to me isn’t going to change anything, and by restoring my foreskin, I can put myself back in control of the situation and turn a negative into a positive.  So now that I am restoring, I look forward to turning my glans back into a properly functioning internal organ with full sensitivity.  And I look forward to restoring the gliding action that is a result of the extra skin being in place.  As well as the significantly reduced need for artificial lubrication. But I am still pretty bummed that I can’t restore the 20,000+ nerve endings that were removed forever.  And every time I see an intact penis, I am envious of the nerve endings.  I would love for one second to know what they feel like.  Also, going through the restoration process itself is a bit of a roller coaster.  When I first started, I was gung-ho for at least 6 months.  But lately it requires conscious effort to remember to put my stretching device on every day.  I have to draw a lot of motivation from helping create awareness and educating other people on circumcision and restoration.  I wish the progress was faster, but at least I do know that the process works, and that lots of people before me have done it.  But right now I am dragging myself through it, hoping that it will be done soon.  And that in turn creates a low-lying level of resentment and frustration that I often contend with.
Do you have a circumcision/intactivist website or blog that you’d like me to link your name to in the article? https://myrestore.wordpress.com
If you have a significant other, do they have any feelings on your circumcision?  Yes, my girlfriend is a full-blown intactivist now as well, and we both look forward to the day that I have a restored foreskin.  In the meantime, she is very supportive of me and works hard to spread factual information about foreskins and restoration.
Do you feel that your civil rights were violated when you were cut? If so, can you explain?  Yes, it goes back to the idea that no person deserves to be permanently physically altered without their permission.

Making Lemonade

It’s funny, when I first thought about foreskin restoration back in the beginning, it was never because I felt cheated or anything like that.  I decided to do it because I heard that it made sex feel better by several orders of magnitude.  But it’s not like sex was lame leading up to that point.  It was great, and it was all I knew.  I had zero resentment in the beginning.  I had a great positive attitude and I was just going to “make lemonade” out of the situation.

But lately I have been finding myself wondering what could have been.  I will often look at my penis at night before bed, and wonder what it would have looked like had I remained intact at birth.  I scrutinize every inch of skin, every fold, every crease, every line, wondering what part was where before I was cut.  And then when I have sex, I find myself imagining/pretending that my penis is whole and intact.  I try to imagine what it would feel like if I still had all those nerve endings.  Of course I will never know.  And so far that isn’t weighing on me too heavily because I can take solace in the fact that I will eventually have a restored glans and proper gliding action once all the skin is restored. But not having the nerve endings is something that I do think about.

Sometimes I will watch porn with intact men, and it makes me a little envious to see their fully functioning, fully sensitive penises enjoying the acts being carried out.  (On a side note, I have noticed that now I pretty much only watch porn with intact men because I think cut penises are sad looking now and I know that neither party is enjoying the act as much as they could be.)  Basically I am so much more conscious about all of this than I once was.  I do know that I am much more emotionally healthy about it than a lot of men are, but I would be lying if I said I never thought about it.  And while I still don’t resent my parents for having me circumcised as a child, I do have a fair amount of resentment for the system that influenced them to do it.  This is all something that is relatively new.  The more I learn, the more it sucks, but I would still rather know it than not.  Because again, at least I can restore a lot of what was taken.  And I know that carrying any kind of resentment on any level is not healthy, so I will probably be looking for ways to deal with that soon.  Though I imagine once I am restored I will think about it a lot less.  But that’s still a ways away.

For a long time I never thought the restoration process required patience.  And in and of itself, it doesn’t.  But when you start learning about all the functions of the foreskin, and what is missing and what I could be experiencing, then I start to get impatient that I have to wait for two years for all this to come to fruition.  Even though I’m already enjoying incremental improvements, I just wish it was done so that I don’t have to pretend what it would feel like in the meantime.  I guess I’m kind of getting sick of pretending, and that’s where the test of patience comes in.

I guess the good news is, all of this is very motivating.  Because every time I think about any of this, it just serves as another reminder to make sure I have my device on as much as possible.  It’s kind of a relief actually.  Because if I wasn’t actively restoring and I thought about all of this stuff every day, then I probably would get seriously bummed out over it.  But instead I have a solution.  Whenever I start to bum out, I just put my stretcher on, and then I know that I am actually doing something to directly resolve the situation.  And that is very relieving.

By being circumcised, your erections are limited by the amount of skin you have left

I don’t know about you, but I see ad’s and spam email all the time saying “make your penis 2 inches longer” or “grow your penis in a week!” and all this garbage that everyone knows is fake.  Anyone who has done any research at all on the subject will tell you that there is no way to grow your penis without major surgery, which is both ridiculously expensive, super risky, and there’s no guarantee it will even work.  Yet if you ask most men, they would tell you that they wished their penis was larger, even if their partner’s didn’t.

But it turns out there is a way, and it’s cheap, easy, and safe, and it comes with a whole host of added benefits.  You see, when you are circumcised at birth, almost 40% of the skin on your penis gets removed.  Now imagine if your penis were a balloon.  If you removed 40% of a balloon’s material, then it wouldn’t get very large before it would pop.  Well your penis works pretty much the same way, except it doesn’t actually pop.  But with all that less skin, it gets to a point where it can’t get any larger because essentially runs out of skin to stretch.   So by being circumcised, your erections are limited by the amount of skin you have left.

Now it’s a known fact that the vast majority of people that have restored their foreskins report increases in both length and girth, and also when they get an erection it no longer hurts like it’s going to burst out of its skin.  I mean, don’t get me wrong, you’re not going to gain an extra two inches or anything like that, but still, a modest increase for sure.  And it should also be noted that many people with curved penises that are a result of an uneven circumcision report that once they restore, their penises straighten out.

And then of course there’s all the added benefits of significantly increased sensation and virtually no chafing or painful dry sex for either you or your partner.  I mean, lube is cool and all, but who the hell wants to mess with that stuff if you don’t have to?

All this for a measly $100 and little bit of effort.  It’s a no-brainer if you ask me.  Especially if you factor in not having to buy lube ever again (or at least very rarely).  That $100 investment will pay for itself in no time flat.

What brought this on is that over the past couple weeks, my erections have sort of “felt” larger, and I wanted to comment about it.  And then just a night or two ago my girlfriend commented during sex that my penis both looked and felt larger.  Given the fact that I’m only about ¼ of the way through my restoration, I have to believe that the actual measured increase is minimal at best.  But never the less, we both noticed a difference.  And, well, that’s pretty awesome if you ask me.  It’s never a bad thing when your girl says to you “wow, your penis looks huge!”

I would also like to point out that we have had several lengthy sex sessions lately, and virtually no chafing has occurred.  Which is a vast improvement over this time last year.  The sex can still be dry, as I don’t yet have enough extra skin to block the moisture in, but it’s definitely apparent that I have regrown enough skin to reduce the friction substantially.  And that, my friends, is motivating factor number 117 that keeps me putting that device on every day and looking forward to what happens next.

The One Thing I Never Saw Coming

Hip hip hooray!  I have reached 6 months without any real setbacks and I’m still going strong.  I suppose I wish I was a little further along, but who wouldn’t?  Though I am very grateful that I’m right where I am supposed to be.  So all is well.

One thing that I really never saw coming as I started out on this journey, is that I have become a full blown intactivist. I got into this from a purely restoration standpoint.  I was already 36 years old when I started, I knew how I got this way, and I frankly I never really had an issue with it.  I didn’t start restoring out of spite or anger or emotional damage or anything directed at my parents or anything.  They made the decision out of ignorance, and in 1975 the circumcision rate in this country was something like 80%.  It’s just how it was as far as I was concerned.  I basically just came to the conclusion one day that my penis was not whole, and I was losing sensitivity, and I had discovered a way to improve the situation.  So I am.  That’s all there is to it.

It wasn’t really until after I started restoring that I began learning about all the myths and horrors of circumcision.  Now I find myself subscribing to all these different intactivist organizations and spending as much time educating people on circumcision as I do restoration.  I figure, why not try to prevent people from ever having to restore in the first place.  Though I have to say, I am surprised by how many people out there today seem as blind and ignorant as my parents were in the 70’s, even though the current RIC rate is only about 36%.  And I find it rather insane that there are still men out there that firmly believe they should circumcise their boy for the sole reason that they want their penises to look the same.  Frankly that’s the stupidest, most ignorant and selfish thing I have ever heard.  I’ve never even seen my dads penis.  I know there are lots of other reasons why parents of today opt to circumcise, but to me that one is just the worst, most asinine thing ever.

The thing I have found to be the most difficult is getting people to open their minds in the first place.  Once they educate themselves, it’s an easy sale, but getting people to actually stop and go “ok, fine, I’ll at least read up on it a little, maybe watch a video or two” is surprisingly difficult for some people.  And I find it so troubling when I read daily accounts of couples whose relationships are severely strained over the issue of circumcision.  It’s almost overwhelming at how prevalent it still is.  And I find it even more troubling when I hear accounts of relationships where they were in disagreement over circumcision and the one who was for it ends up winning the “argument”.

Maybe I’m over-simplifying it, but at this point, with what I know now, I would dump any partner in a heartbeat before I would lose that battle.  I know this might hurt a few people who have been in this position before, but if you are in this position now or in the future, it is your obligation to go WAY over the top if you have to in order to win that battle against ignorance, because your son is going to suffer for the rest of his life over your inaction, and you are going to have to deal with that guilt as well.  It’s totally worth freaking out on your spouse or partner (or doing whatever the hell you have to do) in order to get their attention.

The bottom line is, every reason that has ever been used to justify circumcision anywhere on this planet has been proven wrong.  And more importantly, vaginas were not designed to have intercourse with circumcised penises.  If they were, then we wouldn’t need lube and it wouldn’t hurt for either person, it’s as simple as that.  We were born with foreskins for a reason.  And cutting them off is simply inexcusable on every level.

So once I get back from being on the road and start my group discussions back up, I will spend more time getting in front of expecting parents than I will circumcised men.  Because as much as I strongly want to start a restoration revolution (and I will), I now believe that prevention is FAR more important.  Because even though restoring is relatively easy, it’s still something that no one should have to go through, and you can’t restore everything that was lost.