The One Thing I Never Saw Coming

Hip hip hooray!  I have reached 6 months without any real setbacks and I’m still going strong.  I suppose I wish I was a little further along, but who wouldn’t?  Though I am very grateful that I’m right where I am supposed to be.  So all is well.

One thing that I really never saw coming as I started out on this journey, is that I have become a full blown intactivist. I got into this from a purely restoration standpoint.  I was already 36 years old when I started, I knew how I got this way, and I frankly I never really had an issue with it.  I didn’t start restoring out of spite or anger or emotional damage or anything directed at my parents or anything.  They made the decision out of ignorance, and in 1975 the circumcision rate in this country was something like 80%.  It’s just how it was as far as I was concerned.  I basically just came to the conclusion one day that my penis was not whole, and I was losing sensitivity, and I had discovered a way to improve the situation.  So I am.  That’s all there is to it.

It wasn’t really until after I started restoring that I began learning about all the myths and horrors of circumcision.  Now I find myself subscribing to all these different intactivist organizations and spending as much time educating people on circumcision as I do restoration.  I figure, why not try to prevent people from ever having to restore in the first place.  Though I have to say, I am surprised by how many people out there today seem as blind and ignorant as my parents were in the 70’s, even though the current RIC rate is only about 36%.  And I find it rather insane that there are still men out there that firmly believe they should circumcise their boy for the sole reason that they want their penises to look the same.  Frankly that’s the stupidest, most ignorant and selfish thing I have ever heard.  I’ve never even seen my dads penis.  I know there are lots of other reasons why parents of today opt to circumcise, but to me that one is just the worst, most asinine thing ever.

The thing I have found to be the most difficult is getting people to open their minds in the first place.  Once they educate themselves, it’s an easy sale, but getting people to actually stop and go “ok, fine, I’ll at least read up on it a little, maybe watch a video or two” is surprisingly difficult for some people.  And I find it so troubling when I read daily accounts of couples whose relationships are severely strained over the issue of circumcision.  It’s almost overwhelming at how prevalent it still is.  And I find it even more troubling when I hear accounts of relationships where they were in disagreement over circumcision and the one who was for it ends up winning the “argument”.

Maybe I’m over-simplifying it, but at this point, with what I know now, I would dump any partner in a heartbeat before I would lose that battle.  I know this might hurt a few people who have been in this position before, but if you are in this position now or in the future, it is your obligation to go WAY over the top if you have to in order to win that battle against ignorance, because your son is going to suffer for the rest of his life over your inaction, and you are going to have to deal with that guilt as well.  It’s totally worth freaking out on your spouse or partner (or doing whatever the hell you have to do) in order to get their attention.

The bottom line is, every reason that has ever been used to justify circumcision anywhere on this planet has been proven wrong.  And more importantly, vaginas were not designed to have intercourse with circumcised penises.  If they were, then we wouldn’t need lube and it wouldn’t hurt for either person, it’s as simple as that.  We were born with foreskins for a reason.  And cutting them off is simply inexcusable on every level.

So once I get back from being on the road and start my group discussions back up, I will spend more time getting in front of expecting parents than I will circumcised men.  Because as much as I strongly want to start a restoration revolution (and I will), I now believe that prevention is FAR more important.  Because even though restoring is relatively easy, it’s still something that no one should have to go through, and you can’t restore everything that was lost.